Our 12 Pains of Christmas
by BlueFireAwesomeness
Summary: The International Club has put up a music video based on the song, "The 12 Pains of Christmas." Just what does it contain? Germans and Austrians failing to put up lights, Japanese looking for parking spaces, and the whole gang looking for the perfect Christmas tree are just a few of their antics. Find out what else. Human AU. Hetalia and Nyotalia.


Hello people! It's Christmas and I wanted to do this one-shot so bad!

Please read this list of human names, you'll understand the story much better. I bet it'll be a lot to take in though. At least read the Nyotalia section:

**Nyotalia:**

**Fem!Prussia-Julia Fem!Germany-Monika Male!Belgium-Jacob Fem!Denmark-Kirsten**

**Fem!Norway-Liesl Fem!Sweden-Sofia Fem!Finland-Tanja Fem!Iceland-Kristianna**

**Fem!Japan-Sakura Fem!South Korea-Soo Jin Fem!China-Chun-yan Fem!Canada-Madeline**

**Fem!Austria-Anneliese Fem!Russia-Anya Male!Hungary-Daniel Male!Ukraine-Dimitri**

**Male!Belarus-Nikolai Male!Taiwan-Li Male!Liechtenstein-Noah Fem!Switzerland-Erika**

**Fem!America-Emily Fem!France-Marie-Anne(Annie) Fem!England-Alice Fem!Romano-Chiara**

**Fem!Spain-Isabel Fem!Italy-Margherita(Rita) Fem!Poland-Barbara Fem!Lithuania-Gabija**

**Fem!Turkey-Yasemin Fem!Greece-Mena Fem!Sealand-Penny**

**Hetalia nations without official human names:**

**Netherlands-Abel Belgium-Laura Denmark-Matthias Norway-Lukas Liechtenstein-Lili**

**Cuba-Carlos Iceland-Emil Ukraine-Katyusha**

**Hetalia:**

**Germany-Ludwig Prussia-Gilbert Spain-Antonio Romano-Lovino England-Arthur**

**Japan-Kiku Switzerland-Vash Italy-Feliciano Russia-Ivan Canada-Matthew**

**Poland-Feliks Sealand-Peter France-Francis Sweden-Berwald China-Yao**

**South Korea-Yong Soo Finland-Tino Greece-Heracles Turkey-Sadik Belarus-Natalya**

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, Nyotalia, the song The 12 Pains of Christmas, Transformers, or Barbie. If I did, then God help us.

* * *

_December 23, 2011_

"Woohoo!" Julia Beilschmidt ran in through the front door the second it was opened. Her younger sister Monika followed behind with an exasperated look. The two just had an International club "World Meeting" in the park and just arrived home. Even though it was hectic and included many arguments, in the end they got copies of the music video they were working on.

Monika's dog, Alrick, ran over and was licking Monika's face. Monika went to go get Alrick's food, while Julchen hastily ran over to the computer and turned it on.

This'll be an awesome video!

Julchick appeared then jumped on Julia's shoulder. "Hey little Julchick. Wanna see the video?" The chick just made a few tweeting noises.

Julchen put the DVD in and tapped her foot excitedly. She wanted to see the video already!

Finally, the video played. Julchen noticed that an instrumental piano version of The 12 Pains of Christmas was playing (courtesy of Roderich). The song was being sung by the main focus of each video clip that was playing. Some of the video clips that were mashed together were actually quite humorous.

* * *

The video began with Elizabeta, Katyusha, Natalya, Laura, Mei, and Lili singing on a couch wearing Santa hats.

_The first thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me,_

_is finding a Christmas tree._

A clip played of most of the International Club members running into The Woods. They each had axes and saws, while Alfred was holding a chainsaw. Julchen and Monika's cousin, Gilbert, was holding an axe up. He was yelling as he charged towards a tree.

_The second thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me,_

_"Rigging up the lights!"_

_and finding a Christmas tree._

Julchen and Monika's other cousin, Ludwig, was digging through a box of lights as he said his line. In the clip after that, Antonio, Laura, Jacob, and Lovino watched as Laura's brother Abel used a chainsaw to cut down a big pine tree; and it toppled into Laura and Abel's house.

_The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me,_

_"Hangovers."_

_"Rigging up the lights!"_

_and finding a Christmas tree._

A video clip showed of Arthur putting his head down on a table after saying his line. With a bottle of what's supposed to be beer. Monika was climbing up a ladder trying to untangle the lights; which Roderich was also tangled in. A video later showed of a shot expanding from a tiny Christmas tree, to a dissappointed group of the "Female Nordics," which consisted of Kirsten, Liesl, Sofia, Tanja, and Kristianna.

_The fourth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me,_

_"Sending Christmas cards."_

_"Hangovers."_

_"Rigging up the lights."_

_and finding a Christmas tree._

Alfred was trying to shove a Christmas card the size of a poster board into the mailbox of Kiku and Sakura's house. Matthias was hanging upside down on a tree, pretending to be passed out. Lukas was repeatedly poking his cheek to wake him up. Julchen snuck up on "Germany" and "Austria," snatching a set of Christmas lights. Unfortunately, Ludwig noticed this and ran chasing after her. "The Asians" were around a tree, trying to find out how to take it home. Soo Jin suddenly attempted to do a Karate Chop on it, but failed, causing her to cry out in pain. Sakura and Chun-yan facepalmed.

_The fifth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me,_

_Five months of bills!_

_"Sending Christmas cards."_

_"Hangovers."_

_"Rigging up the lights!"_

_And finding a Christmas tree._

Vash, unamused, was holding up five envelopes with the word BILL written on it. Lili stood next to him, worriedly looking at the bills. Julchen's friend (she forgot her name, but found out it was Madeline.) was tossing a newly written on card, which landed on Kumajirou's head. Kumajirou batted it off. Monika's crush, Feliciano, was trying to shake Gilbert awake. Gilbert apparently was found passed out outside near a pole. Anneliese was on a ladder holding up a set of lights, trying to attach it to the roof; when another set of lights falls on her. Ivan and his cousin, Anya were pulling a tree; trying to get it out of the ground. They succeeded, but they fell back, toppling the rest of the "Allied Forces."

Now, The group that was singing the first line was changed to Daniel, Dimitri, Nikolai, Jacob, Li, and Noah. They were sitting on a bench outside in the snow. Interestingly, this year, it snowed during the winter. The last time it snowed in this area was eight years ago.

_The sixth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me,_

_"Facing my in-laws!"_

_Five months of bills!_

_"Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!"_

_"Hangovers."_

_"Rigging up these lights!"_

_And finding a Christmas tree._

Yao was jerking his hand back and forth, hesitating to open the door to Anya's house. Nikolai was looking out the window wearing the same frown he always wore. He had a knife along with him. Noah, Lili and Vash's cousin, opened the door and gave his sister Erika the mail. Erika saw that the mail was all bills, so she threw it out of the door while a confused Noah looked on. On the video clip after, Emily was complaining while writing on a Christmas card. Lovino woke up and held his head wondering what he did last night. He found out he was in the middle of The Woods. Ludwig was on the roof, furiously holding up Christmas lights while shouting at Daniel, who was looking up at him. In a later clip, Matthias cheerfully shows a branch of an evergreen tree to the rest of the "Male Nordics." Lukas, annoyed, snatches it from Matthias' hand and repeatedly whacks him with it.

_The seventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me,_

_"The Salvation Army."_

_"Facing my in-laws!"_

_Five months of bills!_

_"Sending Christmas cards!"_

_"Oh geez..."_

_"I'm trying to rig up these lights!"_

_And finding a Christmas tree._

Marie-Anne sat on a bench. She looked over her shoulder at her rival Alice, who was pretending to be getting donations. Annie, irritated, looked back at the camera and shook her head. Chun-yan was talking to Katyusha, while Natalya had a knife attached to a fishing line, on a fishing pole, which was slowly being lowered to Chun-yan's head. Katyusha suddenly noticed and screamed, causing Chun-yan to look up shocked at the knife. Next, Lili and Noah were trying to hide the bills by burying them in the snow. Matthew had a pile of to-be-written-on Christmas cards, but was trying to feed it to his polar bear, Kumajirou. Arthur was having a headache as he stumbled into the bathroom. Roderich was trying to make his way across the snow, having been tangled in the lights once again. Feliks held up a sign, smiling that said, "Pink Christmas trees! Only $15.00!" The male "Baltics" passed by him, giving him a weird look.

_The eighth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me,_

_"I want Transformers for Christmas!"_

_"Charities, and what do you mean your in-laws?"_

_Five months of bills!_

_"Oh, making up these cards!"_

_"Liet, get me a beer huh?"_

_"What? We have no extension cords!?"_

_and finding a Christmas tree._

Peter was holding up a Transformers toy, jumping excitedly. Chiara was complaining in front of Isabel trying to get donations and ran over yelling at her sister, Margherita holding a sign that said "Facing my in-laws." Envelopes of bills were sent through the mail slot at Erika's door, only to get them shoved back out. Francis, after writing his supposedly 45th card, threw his head back and groaned. Ivan, who was trying his best to look drunk, was gesturing a confused Toris to go get some vodka. Monika was frustrated and angry she didn't find extension cords. It was hard to take her seriously though as half of her was concealed by a cardboard box she put her head in. Barbara was holding up a pink Christmas tree with ribbons on display, but the second her friend Gabija saw it, Gabija walked the other way.

_The ninth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me,_

_"Finding parking spaces."_

_"Daddy, I want some candy!"_

_"Donations!"_

_"Facing my in-laws!"_

_Five months of bills!_

_"Writing out those Christmas cards."_

_"Hangovers."_

_"Now why the hell are they blinking?!"_

_And finding a Christmas tree._

Kiku and Sakura were riding on a toy jeep, which was barely moving because of their size. Penny was pulling on Sofia's shirt so that the teen could get her candy. Lovino was running away from Antonio, who had a bell and was chasing him for donations. When Berwald wasn't looking, Tanja was cautiously peeking out of the box she was hiding in. Berwald looked back at the box, and Tanja immediately hid back in the box. Vash was now beating up a pile of bills with his shotgun; and Lili was worried about his mental health. Carlos threw a Christmas card airplane, which flew into Emily's face. Kirsten was lying on the roof of her house; facedown. Roderich was waving his arms and complaining while the lights were blinking. Elizabeta was trying to fix the lights. Julchen and Gilbert was running away with Roderich and Anneliese's tree. Unfortunately, they were now being pursued by a frying pan-wielding Elizabeta and Daniel.

_The tenth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me,_

_"Batteries not included."_

_"No parking spaces."_

_"Buy me something!"_

_"Get a job, you bum!"_

_"Oh, facing the in-laws."_

_Five months of bills!_

_"Yo ho, sending Christmas cards!"_

_"Oh geez, look at this."_

_"One light goes out, they all go out!"_

_And finding a Christmas tree._

Yao held up a toy package in the mall, but finding out that there weren't any batteries prompted him to place it back on the shelf. Kiku was still on the toy jeep, slowly passing a parking space that was occupied by a pink Barbie toy jeep. In the Barbie jeep Feliks and his sister Barbara was sitting there, waving at Kiku. Yong Soo, wearing a propeller beanie, was pulling an irritated Yao back into the toy section in the mall. Lovino was riding in a car and was pointing at Jacob wearing a santa hat and holding a sign that said "Christmas Charity." Francis was seen trying to crawl away from something, but he yelped when he got dragged back by an unseen person. Erika, while holding up five bill envelopes, was dialing Vash's number on the phone. Berwald and Matthias were running down a street pulling a wheelbarrel containing Lukas, Emil, and Tino throwing out Christmas cards. Arthur was pretending to be drunkenly pointing at something that seemed invisible (Matthew?). Next, a home video played of Julchen and Monika's father turning on the lights on their house. Most of the family was astounded, but then the entire electricity of the house went out. Lastly, a video played of Gilbert, Francis, and Antonio kicking at a tiny Christmas tree.

_The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me,_

_"Stale TV specials!"_

_"Batteries not included."_

_"No parking spaces."_

_"Mom, I got to go to the bathroom!"_

_"Charities!"_

_"She's a witch I hate her!"_

_Five months of bills!_

_"Oh, I don't even know half these people!"_

_"Who's got the toilet paper?"_

_"Get a flashlight I blew a fuse!"_

_And finding a Christmas tree._

Yasemin was shaking a TV screen wishing there were better TV specials. Mei grabbed a toy (without batteries included) and threw it out of the window. Kiku and Sakura were now walking around dragging the toy jeep behind them. They still didn't find a parking space. Meanwhile, Peter was running to the bathroom pulling an exasperated Tino behind him. Lovino angrily snatched the santa hat and bell from Isabel, throwing it far away. Marie-Anne was hiding under the window, slowly rising her video camera to the window with Alice glaring at the camera. Lili was holding a lit lighter, while Valeska lowered a bill envelope into the fire. Sadik held up a list of the Christmas card sendees, and crossed out half of the paper with a marker. Feliks poked his head outside of the door and was shouting for toilet paper to Feliciano and Rita in the hallway. In the next video clip, night vision was on and Ludwig was asking for a flashlight, it was right next to him. After, Ludwig, Feliciano, and Kiku were running away with the stolen "Allied Forces" Christmas tree with the five male "Allied Forces" running after them.

_The twelveth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me,_

_"Singing Christmas carols."_

_"Stale TV specials."_

_"Batteries not included."_

_"No parking?!"_

_"Waaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaa!"_

_"Charities!"_

_"Got to make 'em dinner."_

_Five months of bills!_

_"I'm not sending them this year, that's it!"_

_"Shut up, you!"_

_"Fine, you're so smart, you rig up the lights!"_

_And finding a Christmas tree._

"The Baltics" were at the door, dressed up for Christmas caroling. Heracles and his friend Mena were asleep on the couch while the TV was on. Chun-yan made a glare at the camera, then held up a toy. She was pointing at the section that said "Batteries not included." After, Alfred was dressed up as a policeman, who was pointing at the No Parking sign to an irritated Kiku still dragging his toy jeep. Yong Soo was having a temper tantrum on the floor at the mall; getting wierd looks from pedestrians. Chiara ran over to Antonio, took his bucket of money, and ran after Antonio threatening to hit him with the bucket. A home video played of Elizabeta and Daniel's family running into a kitchen that was burning because they overcooked the Christmas dinner. The envelopes of bills were hanging from an outside clothesline. Noah watched as Vash shot a hole in them. Alfred angrily got a bunch of Christmas cards and crumpled them up. Near him, Arthur, still drunk, told Alfred to shut up. Monika suddenly came through the door and furiously threw the box of lights at Arthur. The last video that played, the cherry on top, was one of a tree near Tino's house on fire with Tino using a hose to put it out. The rest of "The Nordics" ran away.

* * *

Julchen, after watching the video, cracked up when it ended.

* * *

**A/N: OMG. I really wanted to do this; it took me both Christmas days to finish this! I hope some of this was funny for you. Then again, I guess most things I think up are funnier in my head.**

**This is set in my alternate universe: Adventures in Talia. It has Nyotalia in it! Most of the characters are regular kids in high school. That high school is in a small rural town called Talia. (Yeah I know, not that creative in town names.) That's actually the same universe as the one in my other story.**

**The International Club is the after-school club that most of the nations are in. In it, they have codenames that are their respective nations in Hetalia. But sometimes there are instances where there would be Ms. or Mr. in their codename. They also have names for certain groups, like Axis, Allies, The Baltics, and The Nordics. Unless if I mention male or female I'd be referring to both the boys and girls in that group.**

**The characters acted out most of the videos I described. But some of them were actual home videos taped by them or their families.**

**I really hope you enjoyed this story. Review so I'd know that people read it!**


End file.
